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So
you’ve decided to get an early start, wake before the
rest of the world begins their day and be productive. You
grab a cup of coffee, a quick bagel and head over to the office
(or studio.) You sit down in front of the computer facing
the stark emptiness of your blank screen. You gaze for a moment
and then take a few sips of coffee, waiting for the caffeine
to kick in. Facing the screen, eyes fixated on the blinking
cursor, your fingers in position, waiting with anticipation
like a runner waiting for the sound of the gunshot. Nothing
comes to mind. Your eyes conveniently notices the flashing
email icon in the corner of your screen, suddenly drawn like
a magnet, you decided to check your email. After sifting through
streams of uneventful junk mail, you attempt to return to
that window that appears now a little intimidating. The clock
ticks a little louder as you glance over and notice an hour
has already flashed by. At another attempt to focus on formulating
a sentence, you some how justify getting up to throw a load
of laundry in the wash. Upon returning to the computer, you
realize you need a refill on your cup of coffee and proceed
to the kitchen where you notice a stack of dishes long over
due for a washing. You convince yourself that after the dishes
are done, you will be more at ease to sit down and focus on
your creation. As the minutes passed and the early start is
no longer early, you realize you had succumbed to the seduction
of convenient distractions.
If this sounds like a familiar scenario, well, you are not
alone. Many of us have experienced this form of procrastination.
Where we give into the rationalization that once these convenient
distractions are completed and put to rest, we can create.
When in reality, this is an indication of our own internal
resistance to facing the act of producing something. Feelings
of self-doubt, criticism and negative beliefs can produces
anxiety around the creative process. Such discomfort may rise
from our own demons emerging to remind us how mediocre we
might be, how worthless our work is or worse of all how “uncreative”
we really are. For that reason, we naturally look for diversions
to keep us from facing this discomfort.
I have often caught myself in this avoidance cycle when it
comes time to paint. The familiar anxiety that I struggle
through before I can let go and allow myself to just create
without expectation, without judgment or projection of the
worse. I don’t always arrive at that place easily, sometimes
it takes hours before I allow myself to lean into the discomfort
and finally put the brush to the canvas. I learn that leaning
into the flame as oppose to retracting away from it, is the
best solution. If one allows his or her self to sit long enough
with the uncomfortable feelings, and create anyway, they might
just discover that those feelings eventually subside.
I propose the 20 minute rule commonly used in 12-step-programs.
When the craving suddenly appears, sit and wait for 20 minutes
before taking any action. The power of the craving, which
initially felt intense when it first came on, will eventually
feel more tolerable to withstand. I think the same can be
applied when faced with that need to seek a convenient distraction
in order to excuse us from facing the thing we fear. If we
learn to sit with it instead of blindly giving into diversions,
we work through the resistance. That might mean sitting at
the computer or canvas despite the urge to do something else
and create nonetheless. You might just find that creativity
will eventually win over the feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt
and criticism. Then before you know you it, the creative energy
flows effortlessly.
By practicing this technique, you eventually learn to work
through the uncomfortableness, normally driving you to distractions,
embrace all that goes along with the creative process and
actually have that productive day.
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